It's Been a Minute...

Journal Entry #43

February 16th, 2023

How did this happen? My last journal entry was on October 24th. I blinked and suddenly it’s the end of February. We landed in Ithaca in early October and at that point a two month trip “in the spring of 2023” seemed abstract and far off in some distant future. Given that we had spent a year moving every 2-4 days, the idea of staying in one place for nearly FIVE months seemed… interminable. Not in a bad way, just in a LONG way. This months-long period in which we would be staying put and integrating into “stationary life” in Ithaca seemed like eons of time compared to our nomadic, butterfly-like existence on the road. We had the whole fall and winter ahead of us; SO MUCH TIME until we traveled again. But time is funny, isn’t it? It sneaks up on you.

Here we are just a week out from hitting the road again.

So, did we ‘settle in’ into stationary life in Ithaca, you ask?

Well, we certainly began this process. I was particularly eager to create connection and community - some new roots - with groups of people in ways that we couldn’t have managed on the road.

Actually, to be honest, it wasn’t until I returned to Ithaca and began to meet people here that I fully realized that my outlook about connection and my approach to people had shifted on the road, and for the better. The year of van life helped me to let go of long-standing, fixed notions and beliefs of what ‘success’ looks like for myself and for others. Life on the road helped me become more inquisitive and interested in understanding first and more willing to pack away knee jerk judgement. I think learned to listen more carefully because my interactions with others were often more fleeting. I relished the simple joy of connecting and communing without agendas. I became more enthusiastic and fearless about putting myself out there and worried less about what others thought of me. I also found myself dropping limiting frameworks for, and assumptions about, others too.

(Or maybe it has to do with aging. I’m turning 55 this year. I like me. I like other people. Life is pretty darn good. I am embracing giving less of a “f—k” about all of the other nonsense.)

I do think van life helped build some really positive muscle memory which made it even easier and more natural for me to try different things, meet new people and get involved here in our new hometown. I threw spaghetti at lots of things- I took a seasonal retail job at an art gallery downtown and my colleagues became friends. It was fun to meet locals and visitors alike in the gallery during the holidays. I joined a cooperative clay studio and returned to making pottery and enjoying the company of other artists after a long hiatus. I was invited on to the board of a local non profit radio station and dug into the work and getting to know the characters there. I got hired on to be part of a team that gives Finger Lakes history/geology and winery tours this coming high season. I made an effort to connect with winery folks I knew from years past and introduce myself to new ones and I am hoping additional tasting room work is also a possibility this summer. I’ve taken on consulting work in the fundraising/non profit space up here and it is heartening that the years of hard earned wisdom and experience is valued and can make a difference for small but mighty organizations doing good things in the world.

Tom and I have made friends with the neighbors on our block and have also jumped in, with gusto, to the music, art, nightlife, foodie scene in Ithaca which is lively (even in winter). The best part? We are walking distance from most of the fun. We are lucky to have picturesque hiking in our proverbial backyard too, which we have taken advantage of.

Seeing familiar faces, building friendships, having our regular hangs, and becoming part of a community is a really good thing and something that- after a year as constant visitors and strangers to places- we don’t take for granted.

But it hasn’t been all sunshine and roses. So much newness does take a certain energy. You have to be in the mood. And newness also tends to make you sentimental for the old — especially old friends - people you have known for decades through changes and challenges. No explanations necessary. Like your favorite comfy slippers; they just envelope your feet differently than the new ones. I know these types of relationships will develop but they can’t be forced. TIME is part of the magic. I will continue to nurture old friendships (our van life taught me that these transcend place). That said, I am aware of the absence of these types of relationships here in Ithaca.

And, while it seems like the time flew by between landing here and our upcoming trip, there have been times when both Tom and I have found ourselves on edge. The best way I can think of to describe it is that feeling of cranky agitation - nerves that make you bounce your knee. It’s a nagging thing — not a show stopper, really, but a feeling of restlessness - the urge to break out or away from pattern and routine. We both own that there have been times that these feelings have led to flared tempers and moody silences. Even with the blessing of not having to hold down high pressure full time jobs we still find we orbit each other more and are together less in our ‘stationary’ life. Yes, we are engaging in projects and activities that interest us and meeting people - all of which is good and life enriching. Still, we realize that we miss each other and the intensity of our van life partnership. Many people say they can’t imagine being in a 100 sq. foot van with one person, nearly 24/7, for an entire year. Many say it would make them go crazy. I can honestly say our experience on the road was quite the opposite. We miss the literal and figurative closeness of it; the shared daily challenges, decision making, discoveries, and successes of road life.

Which brings us to now. We are experiencing both the feeling of beginning to hit a good stride here in Ithaca and at the same time equally excited about stepping away; getting our ‘sea legs’ on again in the van. I can say we are both ready for a change of scenery. As beautiful as it is here, Upstate New York tends towards gray palettes in the winter — sunny days and blue skies are few and far between. And this winter has been particularly warm so there has been little snow accumulation to help brighten the landscape.

Recently, my FB has been feeding me hints with increasing frequency, showing me photos of where we were traveling last year around this this time. Sunsets and sunrises seem to be a theme. It’s a message, friends. Time to hit the road. Time for some new horizons.