Where Everyone Knows Your Name
Journal Entry #10
October 4th, 2021
Our experience of living on the road so far has given us the joy of meeting new people, seeing new scenery and having new experiences nearly everyday. But with this privilege comes unique burdens. There are times when we experience a sense of disconnection and anonymity; a feeling of being strangely unmoored. Being nomadic means you are, more often than not, a stranger in a place— you are “just passing thorough”. You may be a welcome stranger, but you aren’t a part of the on going equation of a place or the people in that place.
So it was a welcome change to roll into Blacksburg Va. to visit my cousin J and his wife (also J!). J and I are close in age, born just a couple of months apart and we spent a great deal of time together as children. He ended up going to Virginia Tech and I was just up the road at UVA. We maintained contact through the years and though we haven’t seen much of each other recently, FaceBook has been a blessing, allowing us to follow each others lives and check in. It had been 6 years since we had seen each other in person but the conversation and banter was immediately easy and it was as if the years dropped away. I relished the catching up; talking about everything and anything, jobs, kids, our parents, our siblings, our plans, dreams, and aspirations. My cousin and Tom got on like a house on fire, geeking out about all things tech and engineering related and J, my cousin’s wife and I marveled at how much H and her daughter L, who is attending Pitt, have in common. Tom and I were moving on the next day, heading north on a fixed schedule, to visit my parents and my daughter H, on our way back to NJ (for a last dentist appointment to replace a crown… uggh!) but I could have easily stayed another day to hang out with them. I was surprised at how sentimental I felt about this visit and wistful I felt about leaving; I think it was the realization, after several weeks of anonymity, how nice it was to connect with people who know you. To be someone who is “of some consequence,” and who is part of the social equation.
After an overnight stay at a terrific Harvest Host, Swover Creek Farms and Brewery, we arrived at my parents’ home in Silver Spring. It was a such a comfort to be part of familiar routines and have the warmth of my parents as company for a few days.
Now we are continuing northward in territory we know well, moving towards Philly to see H. We haven’t seen her since we dropped her off at Temple in August, and I am excited to connect with her “live” rather than by FaceTime or phone. I miss her company more than I thought I would; the pandemic created a daily rhythm and closeness that was clearly different than a typical Senior year in high school. Of course, I wished for a more normal last year at home for her and there were times we both needed a break from each other. At the same time, I enjoyed getting to know her in a different and sometimes more intimate way during those strange lockdown times. It will be a quick visit, and then we will see her again during the holidays.
It will be nice to return to NJ for a whistle-stop visit. The dentist is a necessity, but since we are there I thought I’d get a haircut too. And by complete serendipity I will be able to attend, in person, my long standing book group night. In fact, the protagonist, Addie, in the book we are reading, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, struck a chord with me as I read about her on my own journey. Addie made a Faustian bargain to escape her hometown and see the world. She lives eternally, but is unable to be remembered by anyone the moment she is out of their line of sight. (Looking forward to discussing the book, ladies!)
I have been struggling with what to call Maplewood/South Orange these days. I’ve said “home” a few times as we make our way back or when strangers have asked us “where’s home”… but it isn’t anymore is it? Still, think I will allow myself to call it my home. Home is Blacksburg, Philadelphia, Silver Spring, Maplewood. It is familiar streets and familiar faces. Home can be any place where people know your name. Where you are loved and where you matter.
You've experienced and confirmed the old aphorism "home is where the heart is." Your last paragraph is very poetic!
Cheers!!!